She was beautiful in white, walking out to an instrumental version of Bruno Mars’ Just The Way You Are, which was so distinctly her that it made you smile amongst all the tears. She laughed through the whole ceremony, but you had to expect that because that’s how she deals with nervousness. Afterwards, my friend found the whole thing odd, and not because our high school friend had just gotten married, but because she hadn’t changed at all. I looked at him and questioned why he would ever think she would change who she was, and he just shrugged, saying that she’s married now, she’s adult.
My good friend just got married two weeks ago and for me it marked the start of some massive changes. She’s moving to Hawaii for a bit, uprooting all the way to the other side of the country. My other friend just presented his master’s thesis and is now preparing to move to New Mexico, also on the other side. If our little friend group wasn’t already spread thin as we are all up to our own things, we’ll be even more spread apart in just a few months, when everyone will be in all sorts of places all around the world.
I shouldn’t be worried, I know, and I’m not really. It just seems very weird and unsettling to me and I suppose it’s because I’m not ready for it to happen yet. As much as youths today reveal in the idea of growing up, I seriously loathe it. Called it a Peter Pan Complex, but I just can’t seem to get my head around growing up and being an adult. What do those things even mean? I suppose it doesn’t particularly help me that I’ll perpetually look like a sixteen year old. The constant defensive of my age is really wearing thin and I’m just tired of it. Thus, I refuse to accept any sort of adulthood responsibility and whatnot. Honestly, I hate it and it should stop shoving itself in my face and go away.
It hit me the other day though, that I’ve know these people in all of these photographs for almost half of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever held onto friends for that long. It kind of amazing to me that we all still support one another even today and that we can easily mold back to how we used to be with one another even after so many years of separation; we’re all still the same. It’s nice and refreshing, especially for me, a person who has trouble keeping in contact with other people.
It’s a shame that growing up or adulthood or whatever you want to call it brings forth such a separation. It’s like you’re together for years then you all go away to college–or don’t–but you’re all going your separate ways and no longer see each other 24/7. I suppose it doesn’t really matter for some people. They see this as an opportunity to meet new people and make new friends, but they’ll never be those friends, the ones that have seen you grow up and become the person you are today. Those friends are special and life hammers on their heads hard. I must consider myself blessed to still have those friends in my life, even if we are miles and more apart.